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Astropoop!

Astropoop!

The skinny on your week

  • Aries: (March 21 — April 19)
    Week rating: F1
    A colleague will undo six months of your work, then try to fix it all with brownies. This week: Make all decisions using if/then logic.
  • Taurus: (April 20 — May 20)
    Week rating: F2
  • Section: 

    ¡Ask a Mexican!

    ¡Ask a Mexican!

    Dear Mexican: The Mexican-American community is the most adversely affected by the influx of illegals. Only the politicians have anything to gain from lumping all Hispanics into the Latino category.

    Section: 

    Astropoop!

    Astropoop!

    The skinny on your week

  • Aries: (March 21 — April 19)
    Week rating: F2
    Since the State Fair is ending soon, eat three Pronto Pups a day to make the fun last. This week: Skip the Tilt-o-Whirl.
  • Taurus: (April 20 — May 20)
    Week rating: F3
    The best thing you will read all week is a technical manual. This week: Take a walk on down to the library.
  • Section: 

    ¡Ask a Mexican!

    ¡Ask a Mexican!

    Dear Mexican: I'm from the southeastern U.S., and people think that all people from there are dumb (and, in many, cases correctly — see Bush, G.W.). Is there a similar place in Mexico where other Mexicans think these people are in-bred mouth breathers?

    — Swanee Señor

    Dear Gabacho: Jalisco.

    Section: 

    Astropoop!

    Astropoop!

    The skinny on your week

  • Aries: (March 21 — April 19)
    Week rating: F3
    Though you've thought of the perfect Halloween costume, it's so obscure that you'll need to begin ordering accessories now. This week: You're never too old to enjoy Jenga.
  • Taurus: (April 20 — May 20)
    Week rating: F1
  • Section: 

    ¡Ask a Mexican!

    ¡Ask a Mexican!

    Dear Mexican: I see lots of Mexican-Americans struggling in grade school and high school. Many Mexican-American activists claim it's because they don't speak English at home or the schools don't teach them well. But I see lots of Asian-Americans in the same schools who do really well. Many of them also don't speak English at home.

    Section: 

    Astropoop!

    Astropoop!

    The skinny on your week

  • Aries: (March 21 — April 19)
    Week rating: F5
    When you find a brand-new calliope on sale, you will have both the wisdom and cash to buy it. This week: Treat your friend to an order of sopapillas.
  • Taurus: (April 20 — May 20)
    Week rating: F2
  • Section: 

    ¡Ask a Mexican!

    ¡Ask a Mexican!

    Special Best Of Edición.

    Dear Readers: The Mexican just got married to a chica caliente, so he's taken her on a honeymoon to the motherland so she can learn the proper art of tortilla-making. In the meanwhile, I offer this Best Of edition because I plan to do all of my work this week en la cama — ZING!

    Section: 

    Astropoop!

    Astropoop!

    The skinny on your week

  • Aries: (March 21 — April 19)
    Week rating: F3
    As long as it is over 100 degrees outside, you are excused from wearing pants. This week: Bring cookies to a friend who needs them.
  • Taurus: (April 20 — May 20)
    Week rating: F5
  • Section: 

    ¡Ask a Mexican!

    ¡Ask a Mexican!

    Dear Mexican: I'm not Mexican, but my son-in-law is. He is intelligent, bright, enthusiastic and pleasant to spend time with. He came here illegally at the age of 18 with his aunts. He and my daughter are married, have a 3-1/2-year-old son and have gone through the entire process of filing papers and paying fees so he could enter the country legally.

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