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¡Ask a Mexican!

¡Ask a Mexican!

Dear Mexican: I'm a 23-year-old Latina attending a Texas university. I'm taking a class that is centered around Latino culture and history. I'm a first generation Tex-Mex kid, and lately all of the documentaries and other course work have been making me "feel some type of way" — angry, sad and overall confused — for lack of better phrasing.

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Astropoop!

Astropoop!

The skinny on your week

by Diviner Mme Zanzibird

  • Aries: (March 21 — April 19)
    Week rating: F5
    One day, your face will be on the dollar bill.
  • This week: Enjoy some birthday karaoke with friends.

    Section: 

    ¡Ask a Mexican!

    ¡Ask a Mexican!

    Dear Mexican: Why do so many cholos like the song "I'm Your Puppet" by James & Bobby Purify? Is there something about this song or is it all oldies they like?

    — Aspiring Puppeteer

    Section: 

    Astropoop!

    Astropoop!

    The skinny on your week

  • Aries: (March 21 — April 19)
    Week rating: F5
    Since your birthday is this month, it's totally OK to keep eating ice cream every day. This week: Get your College Hill Creamery on.
  • Taurus: (April 20 — May 20)
    Week rating: F4
  • Section: 

    ¡Ask a Mexican!

    ¡Ask a Mexican!

    Dear Mexican: Why are we put down by our own people for being educated and articulate while the Anglos accept us for being smart? I work in Santa Ana, California, as a high school teacher and am considered very good at what I do, but when I meet with the Mexican parents, it almost borders on mistrust. What is it — envy, paranoia, jealousy?

    Section: 

    Astropoop!

    Astropoop!

    The skinny on your week

  • Aries: (March 21 — April 19)
    Week rating: F2
    You shouldn't hide that sprocket rocket in your pants.
  • This week: Get in a barbershop war.

    Section: 

    ¡Ask a Mexican!

    ¡Ask a Mexican!

    SPECIAL BEST-OF EDITION

    Dear Mexican: Why do wabs, regardless of age and body size, always have one hand rubbing their bellies under their shirts? Is this something that is inherent in all wabs? Because they all do it, especially the "fresh from the border" ones. I don't get it. I'm a pocho, and I've never seen other pochos do it. Are wabs finger-banging their belly buttons or what?

    Section: 

    Astropoop!

    Astropoop!

    The skinny on your week

  • Aries: (March 21 — April 19)
    Week rating: F2
    If you start soaking the fruit in alcohol now, you will bake the best fruitcakes for Christmas 2015. This week: Set aside a quarter of your fridge for "aging" the cakes.
  • Taurus: (April 20 — May 20)
    Week rating: F3
  • Section: 

    Astropoop!

    Astropoop!

    The skinny on your week

  • Aries: (March 21 — April 19)
    Week rating: F3
    Now that spring weather has arrived, now is the time to take up bird watching. This week: Invest in a pair of decent binoculars.
  • Taurus: (April 20 — May 20)
    Week rating: F4
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