The skinny on your week

by Diviner Mme Zanzibird | Thursday, March 12 | Posted in Amuse
  • Aries: (March 21 — April 19)
    Week rating: F3
    Now that spring weather has arrived, now is the time to take up bird watching. This week: Invest in a pair of decent binoculars.
  • Taurus: (April 20 — May 20)
    Week rating: F4
    You will soon have the opportunity to buy a 10-pound jar of marshmallow fluff. Take it. This week: Get hip to fluff-er-nutter sandwiches.
  • Gemini: (May 21 — June 21)
    Week rating: F5
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    by Gustavo Arellano | Thursday, March 12 | Posted in Amuse

    Dear Mexican: So there I was, sitting in Spanish class, like the good half-frog/half wop (i.e., "frop") that I am, when I observe the Spanish teacher write the word "esposas" up on the board. Imagine my shock/horror when the teacher told us "esposas" has two meanings: "wives" and "handcuffs"! PLEASE TELL ME THIS IS A COINCIDENCE!

    — Fropito from Laguna Hills

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    by Ellen Crispin | Thursday, March 5 | Posted in Arts

    Risk-taking contemporary theater doesn't turn up in Wichita often. But the mind behind Fisch Haus's new Theatre Thursday program (which launches tonight), Michael Webber, said he was "sick of seeing the same plays performed over and over."

    Since 2008, Webber has been producing and performing in an annual show with the acting troupe The Obstreperous Players at Fisch Haus. The shows have ranged from the classical and absurdist, to edgy contemporary theater.

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    by Ellen Crispin | Thursday, March 5 | Posted in Arts

    Whether you've been paying attention or not, CreativeRush has been cultivating artistic community in Wichita for almost four years. And tomorrow night marks the launch of its brand new music-centric program Songwriter Studio.

    CreativeRush founder Kylie Brown and her longtime First Tuesday Talk moderator (and F5 contributor) Torin Andersen have been working hard the past few months to bring this new program to life.

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    by Don Winsor | Thursday, March 5 | Posted in View

    The Westboro Baptist Church this week failed to protest the funeral of Leonard Nimoy when they were simply unable to find it. The Nimoy family elected to mourn in private, and thus the attention-whoring hatemongers from Topeka were trumped and unable to piss off millions of Trekkers and others inspired by the late actor's life and work. In the spirit of the recent piece Fifty Shades of Grey, which began as a piece of fan fiction*, I now offer you my first and perhaps only foray into the frightening world of fan fiction.

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    by Jeremy Webster | Thursday, March 5 | Posted in Film

    Like most disposable, second-tier horror cheapies, The Lazarus Effect is a film where its nuggets of goodness float in a sea of trite mediocrity at best. These sorts of films try to give a few good scares before the end credits run, but they do not deliver The Exorcist- or Rosemary's Baby-level quality.

    In the case of The Lazarus Effect, the film does have a few strong to middling ideas at play along with consistently excellent cinematography, but none of them ever gels together to create a coherent experience.

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    by Don Winsor | Thursday, March 5 | Posted in Food

    One recent day while panel sampling a flight of craft beers courtesy of Old Chicago, it was remarked that I should write a column about the best cheap coffees. The kinds of coffee your parents have possibly been drinking since the 1970s. The kind of coffee that often isn't even available in whole bean form because what's the point, it's probably stale anyway.

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    by Kelsie Baab | Thursday, March 5 | Posted in Arts

    Audience and staff, alike, were both disgusted and enthralled by the appearance of Joyland Louie (a Louie, not the Louie) at last Friday night's production of The Dead Martin Variety Hour at Roxy's Downtown. Said one anonymous participant, "It immediately took me back to a place of childhood terror that I'd repressed for decades. I wanted to vomit right on the stage."

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    by Vickie Kline | Thursday, March 5 | Posted in Food

    My husband and I gather with friends often to eat, drink and socialize. (I think we would be wise to add a visit to the gym in that list because the socializing doesn't burn enough calories for all we eat and drink.) When the group gets together we're always trying new things — maybe it's a recent food recipe, a new wine find or a combination of the two for a great pairing. For Valentine's Day, someone had the idea of hosting a wine blending party.

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    by Elizabeth Jackel | Thursday, March 5 | Posted in Food

    The day can be segmented by type of liquid in your cup: coffee, midday filler beverages and beer. Consumed on either side of vast and boring MFBs, coffee and beer rarely find themselves mug to mug, however these two elixirs have much in common. For starters, the primary ingredient in both is water. Next, are their plant-derived ingredients from which they each obtain their aroma, flavor and body — in coffee, the seeds of the Coffea plant; in beer, it's the flowers of Humulus lupulus and grain from the Hordeum vulgare.

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    by Kate Clause | Thursday, March 5 | Posted in Music

    Thursday, Feb. 26, while most of Wichita was huddled under blankets with hot water bottles, thousands of folks braved the cold and trudged into Intrust Bank Arena to catch indie bluegrass/folk darlings the Avett Brothers.

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    by Jeremy Webster | Thursday, March 5 | Posted in Film

    The Wichita Alternative Film Series will be presenting the documentary Culture High on Friday, March 6, at 7 p.m. at the Murdock Theater, 536 N. Broadway.

    Described as "an amusing yet insightful portrait of cannabis prohibition and the grasp it has on society," the film tears into the current marijuana debate with arguments from both supporters and opponents of existing marijuana laws.

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    by Bill Jenkins | Thursday, March 5 | Posted in View

    Hurrah for Walmart! I never thought I would be saying that since I have been a Walmart hater for decades. I don't like it. I don't shop there (unless it is an emergency trip to the one in Winfield for a piece or two of camping gear that is urgently needed) and I don't encourage others to shop there either.

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    by Dan Kampling | Thursday, March 5 | Posted in Film

    This year's Oscars were appropriately distributed to their worthy applicants. What was remarkable this year was the differentiations between all of the major awards. Not one film swept the categories, thus presented a fair balance of the wide category of films of the previous year. The Best Actress Academy Award winner for Julianne Moore in Still Alice has finally arrived, a deserving award win for a deserving film chronicling the onset of Alzheimer's disease and its effect on everyone involved.

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    The skinny on your week

    by Diviner Mme Zanzibird | Thursday, March 5 | Posted in Amuse
  • Aries: (March 21 — April 19)
    Week rating: F4
    Reward yourself for voting in the primaries with ice cream at Freddy's. This week: Eat grapes for breakfast.
  • Taurus: (April 20 — May 20)
    Week rating: F1
    Louie the Clown will haunt your dreams ... as well as your waking hours. This week: Read It for tips on how to deal with psycho clowns.
  • Gemini: (May 21 — June 21)
    Week rating: F5
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    by Gustavo Arellano | Thursday, March 5 | Posted in Amuse

    Dear Mexican: Recently, I visited a viejecita in an assisted living home. As I'm getting on in years myself, I wondered how I would fare in such a place. Fortunately I like to eat cottage cheese, but I would like some salsa with it, or better yet, an occasional jalapeño en escabeche. Are there places for those of us who like spicy Mexican food? Perhaps you have answered this question already in Taco USA, but I have been so busy lately that I have not yet cracked the cover of my copy.

    Sabor Para Mi

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    by Jeremy Webster | Wednesday, March 4 | Posted in Film

    When asked what movie I watched more times than any other as a child, my answer isn't Star Wars. It isn't one of the Star Trek entries. Nothing Disney's ever produced even comes close.

    It's Terry Gilliam's 1981 film, Time Bandits.

    Part of this is due to the fact that, throughout the '80s and early '90s, the thing was a constant staple of HBO, but, honestly, I didn't have to watch it — I always came across it and stopped on it.

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    by Jorts McDude | Thursday, February 26 | Posted in Music

    First off, I'm 37 and was in high school when the Gin Blossoms hit their peak with the insanely good New Miserable Experience, a 45 minute jangle pop juggernaut whose multiplatinum status led to such absolutely unavoidable hits as "Hey Jealousy," "Allison Road," "Until I Fall Away" and "Found Out About You" was released.

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    Thursday, February 26 | Posted in Music

    The Vehicles are a Wichita-based rock band formed in 2005 with founding members Kerry Bainum and Cody Cloud.

    The band has released three studio albums — Luna, Satchels & Beards and This Bluebird Wants Me Dead. The latest album was released on vinyl and includes a digital download. All the music is available on iTunes, Amazon and CDbaby.

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    by Joyland Louie | Thursday, February 26 | Posted in View

    When people ask about my story, I can't help but wonder why they're so interested. My story is one you've heard a thousand times — born in 1910, grew up poor, one day swindled a bayou witch out of some of her moonshine, cursed by said witch and turned into mechanical clown, bought at a trade show in the '50s, shackled to an outdoor organ and forced to play for half a century before being abducted and held in bondage in the basement of a child molester. I'm not special.

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