Astropoop!

Astropoop!

The skinny on your week

  • Aries: (March 21 — April 19)
    Week rating: F2
    Your spatial reasoning skills will improve by 113% next month. This week: Document wherever you go, since that will be where you are.
  • Taurus: (April 20 — May 20)
    Week rating: F4
    You will become a ranter and raver par excellence by the end of Thursday. This week: Listen to all the Leonard Cohen you can handle.
  • Gemini: (May 21 — June 21)
    Week rating: F5
    All you wanted for your birthday was a cake with sprinkles, and that's all you will receive. This week: Tap dance your way into a select gathering.
  • Cancer: (June 22 — July 22)
    Week rating: F3
    Bar-tending is not only your profession, but also your calling. This week: Burn some sage and cleanse that shit.
  • Leo: (July 23 — Aug. 22)
    Week rating: F1
    It turns out that salsa dancing is not your calling. This week: Camp out for the best spot to hang out at Riverfest.
  • Virgo: (Aug. 23 — Sept. 22)
    Week rating: F2
    You're becoming irritated that it is not raining literal pennies from Heaven. This week: Keep your umbrella turned upside-down.
  • Libra: (Sept. 23 — Oct. 23)
    Week rating: F5
    A friend will surprise you with a tiny new kitten friend. This week: Name your new kitty Ferris Mewler.
  • Scorpio: (Oct. 24 — Nov. 21)
    Week rating: F3
    Melon will soon become your signature color. This week: Take a Taurus out for coffee on Thursday.
  • Sagittarius: (Nov. 22 — Dec. 21) l
    Week rating: F3
    You'll meet a super-cute cyclist at the Riverfest bike valet station. This week: Cycle over to College Hill Creamery for an ice cream date.
  • Capricorn: (Dec. 22 — Jan. 19)
    Week rating: F4
    With all the extra rain days coming our way, you'll be able to finish reading all of the Little House books. This week: Be glad you'll never have to dig a well by hand.
  • Aquarius: (Jan. 20 — Feb. 18)
    Week rating: F5
    You'll soon fall in love with a person wearing head-to-toe melon-colored clothing. This week: March to the beat of your own mariachi band.
  • Pisces: (Feb. 19 — March 20)
    Week rating: F3
    It might be a waste of money to write your master's thesis on the density of various types of donuts. This week: Get a donut research/eating buddy.