Astropoop!

Astropoop!

The skinny on your week

  • Aries: (March 21 — April 19)
    Week rating: F5
    Since your birthday is this month, it's totally OK to keep eating ice cream every day. This week: Get your College Hill Creamery on.
  • Taurus: (April 20 — May 20)
    Week rating: F4
    Your only directive this week is to bake cookies, lots of them. This week: Get pumped about the mayoral elections next week.
  • Gemini: (May 21 — June 21)
    Week rating: F3
    Your life will change forever after you take part in a mediocre open mic night. This week: Learn to make hot cross buns.
  • Cancer: (June 22 — July 22)
    Week rating: F3
    You are the reason that Rolos are still manufactured. This week: Join a Klezmer band.
  • Leo: (July 23 — Aug. 22)
    Week rating: F5
    You will be entered into the Guiness Book of World Records for the length of your epic spring road trip. This week: Where you're going, you don't need roads.
  • Virgo: (Aug. 23 — Sept. 22)
    Week rating: F5
    The Easter Bunny will leave buckets and buckets of chocolate under your pillow. This week: Share your candy with a sad Scorpio.
  • Libra: (Sept. 23 — Oct. 23)
    Week rating: F2
    You will soon become known as "the weirdo who always wears roller blades." This week: Go on a road trip with your Leo crush.
  • Scorpio: (Oct. 24 — Nov. 21)
    Week rating: F1
    Since you gave up chocolate for Lent, you're scared to start eating it again after Easter. This week: Reluctantly, take up jogging.
  • Sagittarius: (Nov. 22 — Dec. 21)
    Week rating: F4
    One night in Bangkok and the world's your oyster. This week: Enjoy a game of chess with a friend.
  • Capricorn: (Dec. 22 — Jan. 19)
    Week rating: F3
    Now is your time to shine! Rent paddle boats along the Arkansas River downtown. This week: Treat your Aries friend to a sundae.
  • Aquarius: (Jan. 20 — Feb. 18)
    Week rating: F3
    You will find a haunted typewriter at your favorite thrift shop. This week: Start working on your collection of ghost stories.
  • Pisces: (Feb. 19 — March 20)
    Week rating: F2
    Tuesday, you'll finally have the nerve to compliment your Gemini coworker's hot cross buns. This week: Drink your coffee without cream or sugar to up your street cred.