Astropoop!

Astropoop!

The skinny on your week

  • Aries: (March 21 — April 19)
    Week rating: F3
    Now that spring weather has arrived, now is the time to take up bird watching. This week: Invest in a pair of decent binoculars.
  • Taurus: (April 20 — May 20)
    Week rating: F4
    You will soon have the opportunity to buy a 10-pound jar of marshmallow fluff. Take it. This week: Get hip to fluff-er-nutter sandwiches.
  • Gemini: (May 21 — June 21)
    Week rating: F5
    On a trip to Lawrence, you will score a ride in the Batmobile. This week: Wear your Batman suit.
  • Cancer: (June 22 — July 22)
    Week rating: F2
    When conflict arises at work, hug it out. This week: Go bird-watching with your work crush.
  • Leo: (July 23 — Aug. 22)
    Week rating: F1
    It will take all the cute kitten videos on the Internet to cheer you up Wednesday. This week: Buy a preemptive pint of Ben & Jerry's.
  • Virgo: (Aug. 23 — Sept. 22)
    Week rating: F2
    When your mom harasses you for eating Twinkies, tell her you only eat foods that are made in Kansas. This week: Spice things up with a little Sriracha.
  • Libra: (Sept. 23 — Oct. 23)
    Week rating: F5
    You'll be the coolest cat in the office with your new Google watch. This week: Hoard all of the Girl Scout cookies you can.
  • Scorpio: (Oct. 24 — Nov. 21)
    Week rating: F4
    The stars have aligned in such a way that your hair will look stellar every day in March. This week: Buy some new, lime green running shorts.
  • Sagittarius: (Nov. 22 — Dec. 21)
    Week rating: F3
    You will not receive a single piece of junk mail this week. This week: Hug every Leo you see.
  • Capricorn: (Dec. 22 — Jan. 19)
    Week rating: F2
    You will have to wait in line a little less than usual at the DMV on Thursday. This week: Eat a donut at every donut shop in town.
  • Aquarius: (Jan. 20 — Feb. 18)
    Week rating: F4
    If you flirt with a Libra this week, you may score some Girl Scout Cookies. This week: Avoid people named Dana.
  • Pisces: (Feb. 19 — March 20)
    Week rating: F5
    Bono will send you a German chocolate cake for your birthday. This week: Write him a thank-you letter.